It happened! Almost all my hair fell out today. It was very weird. I have a huge bald spot in the back of my head. I have some thin hair left on top and the sides, so my children cut my hair super short. Time for a wig. I have to be confident that the chemo is truly working. My pain has been little to none for the last week, and that is a good sign per my nurse.
“I am going to get rid of my cancer, I am going to get rid of my cancer, I am going to get rid fo my cancer!”
We had our lemon cream pie. It turned out very creamy like cheese cake and was worth the time to make it.. One of the main ingredients is vanilla greek yogurt. The yogurt made it extra creamy. It also had lemon drop candy crushed in the pie crust which was just shortbread cookies butter and crushed lemon drops. It had just a slight crunch to the crust. My son loves lemon and he really enjoyed it.
We are going to watch a movie my son rented tonight so take care and love each and every day.
I had chmotherapy 4 days ago and I say, “chemotherpy is a bitch!’. My nurse told me it could hit hard like this and it sucks!. Today, every inch of my body hurts from my head to my toes. I am telling myself that I hurt because my good cells are fighting the cancer cells. My body is supposed to get used to this hell in about a month. I can’t wait for my body to get used to the chemotherapy. I am going to get some physical therapy next week. That will be interesting as today I can barely stay up. “I will get this cancer to leave my body, I will get this cancer to leave my body, I will get this cancer to leave my body.”.
Food tastes like metal so it is very challenging to eat today. I was told food is fuel and to get anything I can down. I did have some soup and a milkshake. It still didn’t taste good. That is suppose to improve as well over time.
Well, I am just too beat to write. Eat what you can and keep plugging along!
I had an out-patient procedure today of an insertion of a port into my body. I want to explain the port to you more and will do that tomorrow as I am still tired from the anesthesia tonight. Having two days of back to back procedures has worn me out. I can tell you that the hospital staff was very nice and that made it all a lot easier. At least I have my port in to make it easier for chemotherapy which is starting on Friday. Tomorrow I have a class on what to expect with chemotherapy. So I am going to get some rest. Check in tomorrow and I will describe my procedure and talk about my chemotherapy class.
Keep Strong and Positive
Oh my Gosh, I feel like I am going to explode from so much over-whelming information. I am trying not to freak out, but it is taking me every conscious breath to keep positive. My tumor makers are high for Ovarian cancer, breast and abdominal cancer. At this time, I need a Pet scan to see more precisely my cancer may be. I am really scared and I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that this cancer is really eating me alive. “I have to get this cancer out of my body, I have to get this cancer out of my body, I have to get this cancer out of my body.” Whew!, let me breathe for a minute….okay. My daughter scheduled me for the Pet scan, a surgery procedure of putting a port in my chest for doing the chemo, chemo training and my first chemo appointment. It took her hours to do that. Next week, I have appointments and procedures every day. The real fight begins. I thought I started, but it is going to be a war zone battle. “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.”
This is when it would be nice to have strong family support. Luckily I have 2 children who are taking time off of work and staying with me as much as possible. I do wish I had some friends or other family to help, but I am lucky for my children. They are also very freaked out about my condition and concerned about being able to pay for and keep our home and pay our bills and their bills. We were already behind in everything and now it worse as they are missing a lot of work. We have all been having financial hardships and do not have any savings. A word to others, do all you can to have a savings as you do not want to be in this situation. My children have been selling possessions and anything they can for us to make it. I realize we are not alone. I wish there was some kind of financial help, but we can’t find it. I thought God was testing me, but now I guess I am in for graduation finals or something as my road and my families road it going to be extremely challenging both in health and financial. It is so ironic as we had just gotten to keep our home with a long struggle with a loan modification. I thought we would be on our way to getting on track, but now more burden. “I have to be strong, I have to be strong, I have to be strong”.
Well, I am eating light as I have been nauseated every day, with abdominal pain and bloating. I ate some oatmeal and raisins and now some fresh fruit and carrot juice. At least oatmeal, fruit and veggies are not as expensive as my medication, vitamins, minerals and things like fish. Is it me or does it seem like healthier food is more expensive? Oh boy, I just feel like I am on a cloud of confusion. So much to handle and absorb. We will stick it out no matter what. “I love life and want to be here. I love life and want to be here, I love life and want to be here”. On that note I am going to rest. My love to all dealing with cancer an financial hardships. We all have a lot on our plates. Now we need to clean the plates off.
Have a Blessed Day,
I expected to get my final report for my repeated biopsy stains and still no answer. My oncologist though they would be ready a week ago. I am worried as my abdomen is hurting again and my stomach is more bloated. I really want to get going on my chemotherapy to rid my body of my cancer. Man this is such crap and the waiting is driving me crazy!. I know the oncologist had to do a repeat on the biopsy stains, but I wish he didn’t tell me they would be done quickly as it is taking twice what he expected and then some. This report will be how he decides what type of chemotherapy I need and the regime. “My cancer is leaving my body, my cancer is leaving my body, my cancer is leaving my body!”
I felt blah today and have not had a lot of energy. I also have not been very hungry and I know I am supposed to each as much as possible. Eating is still difficult not only from the nausea and pain, but also because I had a tooth pulled and still need much more work on my teeth. It is very difficult to chew anything so that makes eating extra difficult. I am taking my vitamins and minerals. I even took my liquid iron as it is non-constipating. Thankfully, I am not constipated today. My daughter did get me to exercise in the pool when she got home which was refreshing tonight.
Tomorrow I am getting the stitches out of my mouth and I am looking forward to the one hour ride. I know it will be good for me to get out of the house and see people. My daughter is working so my son will take me as he is home for a few more days. I will miss him when he has to go home. He lives about 8 hours away. My daughter got some good news and her job will let her work at home 2 days a week and work in the office for 3 days a week. This will help. I still will have 3 days without someone with me. The Oncologist thinks he can get a visiting nurse to check once a week and maybe 2 days of physical therapy. I hope I can manage the rest of the time. We cannot afford other in-home support and so far do not have anyone who wants to donate any time. I understand, everyone is busy with their own lives and everyone needs to get paid. We are still searching to see if we can get any other assistance. Just another concern. We are taking it one day at a time for now.
I was able to eat my kale with garlic tonight. I tried to eat a few bites of meat, but could not chew it. I ate a bit of left-over pasta that had artichoke. I’ve juiced with my Odwalla drinks and eating soft food like yogurt and pudding. I also had a frozen veggie and rice side dish, so I have eaten what I could today. I am going to bed as I am beat. It is getting warmer at night again…seems like the 4th of July warm up.
Happy 4th as it is close,