(I just got cancer) Fear of ending chemotherapy
Before I get into my fears, I want to give out apologies for not blogging for a while. We have just been having an extremely difficult time keeping our utilities on and making our house payment. It have been a very rocky year in health and finances and lately the financial end has not been good. I know that somehow as long as we do our best to keep positive, God will provide. I am here, alive! I have so much to be grateful for! If I have my health, the rest will come. I believe, the rest will come. I will have my health and financial relief will come. For those of you in desperate need like my family I just want to say my heart feels your pain and we can make it. I have many days, when I have a hard time believing it and I am scared when we do not have money to go around, but hey I am able to blog again. One thing at a time and one day at a time. Sometimes I just have to say one hour at a time. We have to do the best we can or this stress will eat us alive.
Well, in addition to my financial disasters, I am actually due for my last chemotherapy treatment tomorrow. I can hardly believe it. I have had the greatest fear of ending chemotherapy. I know I have been a bit of a basket case because of our financial situation, but then I started freaking out about ending my chemotherapy. I had a long talk with my nurse practitioner last week. She really helped my daughter and I. She is aware of all our problems and she told us that it is normal to be scared that chemotherapy is ending. It is like cutting the umbilical cord. It feels more safe when you are getting blood tests every week and seeing the doctor or nurse practitioner. In fact it feels like that support is not there. I explained how afraid I am of getting another pet scan and my new results. She re-assured my that everyone feels that way. My oncologist will not “cut me off”. I will have a three-week break and then a pet scan. The week after that my oncologist will see me to review my progress. He also said he will call if there is anything urgent. Okay, just typing this is scaring me. I don’t want to be scared, but I just feel scared all the way around lately. I did get good news that my CA125 which is a tumor marker is at 3. I was told anything under 30 is normal and my nurse practitioner said that is a very good sign. I know I just have to wait it out. I will make it. We will make it and so can you.
I am going to continue this blog and still discuss things that happen with me and I plan to evolve to having more information about cancer, diet, recipes, exercises and healthy living with cancer or just doing your best to stay or be cancer free. I will share my emotions and hope to touch and inspire someone out there who needs to know they are not alone. The world can be a scary place and there is much grief in life, but I always remember that tomorrow may be the best day of my life and I do not want to miss it. Therefore, if you are like me and your plate is just overflowing so badly that it is hard to make it to the next day, keep your chin up. Tomorrow just might be that best day of your life.
God Bless and Keep reaching for the rainbow,
- Lung Cancer Chemotherapy (cancercenter.com)
- Liver Cancer Chemotherapy (cancercenter.com)
- Ovarian Cancer Treatments – Chemotherapy (cancercenter.com)
- Chemotherapy and Weakness (ijustgotcancer.wordpress.com)
- Chemotherapy and Bladder Infections (ijustgotcancer.wordpress.com)
- Scientists identify liposarcoma tumors that respond to chemotherapy (medicalxpress.com)