Oh my Gosh, I feel like I am going to explode from so much over-whelming information. I am trying not to freak out, but it is taking me every conscious breath to keep positive. My tumor makers are high for Ovarian cancer, breast and abdominal cancer. At this time, I need a Pet scan to see more precisely my cancer may be. I am really scared and I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that this cancer is really eating me alive. “I have to get this cancer out of my body, I have to get this cancer out of my body, I have to get this cancer out of my body.” Whew!, let me breathe for a minute….okay. My daughter scheduled me for the Pet scan, a surgery procedure of putting a port in my chest for doing the chemo, chemo training and my first chemo appointment. It took her hours to do that. Next week, I have appointments and procedures every day. The real fight begins. I thought I started, but it is going to be a war zone battle. “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.”
This is when it would be nice to have strong family support. Luckily I have 2 children who are taking time off of work and staying with me as much as possible. I do wish I had some friends or other family to help, but I am lucky for my children. They are also very freaked out about my condition and concerned about being able to pay for and keep our home and pay our bills and their bills. We were already behind in everything and now it worse as they are missing a lot of work. We have all been having financial hardships and do not have any savings. A word to others, do all you can to have a savings as you do not want to be in this situation. My children have been selling possessions and anything they can for us to make it. I realize we are not alone. I wish there was some kind of financial help, but we can’t find it. I thought God was testing me, but now I guess I am in for graduation finals or something as my road and my families road it going to be extremely challenging both in health and financial. It is so ironic as we had just gotten to keep our home with a long struggle with a loan modification. I thought we would be on our way to getting on track, but now more burden. “I have to be strong, I have to be strong, I have to be strong”.
Well, I am eating light as I have been nauseated every day, with abdominal pain and bloating. I ate some oatmeal and raisins and now some fresh fruit and carrot juice. At least oatmeal, fruit and veggies are not as expensive as my medication, vitamins, minerals and things like fish. Is it me or does it seem like healthier food is more expensive? Oh boy, I just feel like I am on a cloud of confusion. So much to handle and absorb. We will stick it out no matter what. “I love life and want to be here. I love life and want to be here, I love life and want to be here”. On that note I am going to rest. My love to all dealing with cancer an financial hardships. We all have a lot on our plates. Now we need to clean the plates off.
Have a Blessed Day,
- Ovarian Cancer Survivors (cancercenter.com)
- Ovarian Cancer Staging (cancercenter.com)
- Ovarian Cancer Treatments – Chemotherapy (cancercenter.com)
- Pancreatic Cancer Information (cancercenter.com)
- What is Ovarian Cancer? (icancer5.wordpress.com)